SOS she's in disguise

Anyone else LOVE Shakiras She Wolf? I diiiiig IT :)


...i do not dig the hypersexualized video, but i do love the song! and her dancing at the end on the rooftop!

Don't be tardy for the....

Obviously i could NOT resist writing about The Real Housewives of ATL! I'm a BIG fan, for many reasons, and one of those reasons is because i can see both the good and bad in it, i learn from it, and am repulsed by it, but all in all i am alive when i come into contact with it.

What i want to talk about is the electrified and , eventually, doomed friendship between Kim and Nene. Kim, the big (fake) breasted blond with hollowed dreams of being a country singer now magically transferred to being a one hit wonder electro-r&b star. And Nene the feisty mammie Georgia peach with a large personality and at times no clue when to stop. Together these two urned up the heat by going from close friends to deeeep enemies. When and where did this stress begin? Well, its okay if you don't know because i am definitely about to tell you.

When Sheree 'accidentally' forgot to put Nene on the list for her party, the stage was already being set for tragedy. Now Nene was obviously embarrassed. After all, how would you feel if someone you used to be friends with and were then feuding with personally called you up to invite you to their huge birthday party, this is the first time you're seeing them since the fight, and after you put your trust in the situation find yourself standing out front being told your name is not even on the list? after a personal phone call? Um, i'd be heated! And you know you would too. And for the record, at the time Kim was going along with the 'drama' that she claims to be so above. She was the main one saying to the cameras that Sheree was shady, and even ( in extra footage)  ignored her phone calls after the incident to let her know she was angry. Ya kim, that was you!

Anyway, So it must have come as a surprise, shock, and stab in the back to Nene when Kim began hanging out with Sheree. And i think THIS is where people have Nene twisted. She wasn't being possessive of Kim like Kim tried to make it seem. She, Nene, was simply baffled that someone who claimed to be her bff would not only hang out with a woman who publically humiliated her, but says she is her twin and suddenly puts Sheree's and her superficial connection before yrs of close friendship. I would have to say if my best friend did that i would have more than a few suspicions about his/her loyalty - and thus feel betrayed. I gotta agree with Nene when she said "once i feel betrayed, i just go off,' and the moral here is that people should know better, so of course she immediately went into white hot rage, mmmm, i wish there was another way to describe that but of course whiteness is always everywhere.

We also have to take into account the fact that Nene's bff Kim started to become friends with Nene's enemy. Can you imagine Nene's paranoia and feelings of conspiracy. And was she wrong? At some point she was disliked by everyone but Lisa. So her paranoia wasn't in her head, if you see what i am saying. If your friends turn to your enemies and make nice, no matter how moral or mature people believe they are, they aren't. It hurts, and some people act immediately. One reason Nene acted immediately is because in her culture conflict and confrontation is no big deal. But when Kim began to give Nene the cold shoulder and declared that she was too much drama - subconsciously the racist wheels must have began turning. Nene must have thought herself "awesommmme, so now im being punished for being everything white people LOVeEfor black people to be. I'm being looked over for a more conservative black person who isn't loud and drama, aka full of life!" riiiight Kim, right. Now Kim says Nene is too much drama but until Kandi, Kim was the one constantly on the offense like Nene is. And you know what is doesn't surprise me. What Kim did was the classic divide and conquer.

Kim - Oh kandi! you're such a good black. You're calm, and agreeable! i love you my well trained slave! get what i'm saying here?

Well once Kim was able to get yet ANOTHER black woman to condemn the behavior of one of their own she knew she had won. She had successfully driven the wedge between two black upper class woman. black upper class woman? They're in such a small community, so why would you deliberately contribute to them taring each other down? oh i know, black people aren't people, but pawns in the white persons chess game. use as needed, i guess.

So under all this pressure Nene gets DRUNK, i repeat DRUNK and sings a song that makes fun of kKm and her singing career. Lisa must have told Sheree, who then told Kim in the car when first listening to tight rope. Um side bar, Sheree, why did you lie in the camera and say that Kim had a "beautiful voice," and "you never knew," when clearly she cannot carry a tune? Nene, from the beginning, said that Kim couldn't sing and although that may have been, as Sheree puts it, "not supporting Kims music career," - it was not lying to her face and supporting her delusion. Nene may have been harsh, but at least she told the truth. Kim is looking for agreeable black people, who are trained enough to not question anything or ruffle feathers. Kandi plays this role perfectly - its called a Sambo! Honestly, Kandi is constantly smiling like a fucking idiotic fool! However, our existence as black people should NOT be to constantly negotiate these stereotypes but that's the reality, guess who never navigates stereotypes beyond a harmless "yall can't dance"? I'll give you one guess...

So Kim called off her and Nene's friendship based on a song. And don't get me wrong, if i were Kim i'd be hurt. But if i were Kim i'd also be asking myself "hmmm, think maybe Nene was upset when i was i'm a black woman inside although i do not face any of the hardships and atrocities faced by black woman everyday?" - and that, of course, is why im not white. I ask the hard questions, because i experience the hard moments. ya know?

So back when Nene and Kim were friends they listened to "tardy for the party" and Nene suggested that it be changed and Kim suggested they do it together. Or was it Kims unusually large friend Cori? And i say that because NO woman who puts that much into her appearance has a average looking friend like Cori unless they want someone around to constantly make themselves feel better. I would know, i've been a fat friend type my whole life. Pretty girls don't want you unless it's to remind themselves how they AREN'T us. Mmmhmm.  So when Kim abruptly dropped to Nene that she didn't want her on the song Nene was heated! Reason 1: Kim backing out at the last minute is strikingly similar to Sheree backing out. Both incidents resulting in the PUBLIC humiliation of a black woman! it's called trauma...people.. Reason 2: Kim had MULTIPLE chances to explain this to Nene prior to when she told her. It took Nene tracking her down to ask about the song AFTER Kim had pretty much recorded it! Now that's just shady and inconsiderate. Again, this illuminates the fear in white culture of conflict. Because the bottom line is if Kim really had that experience and truly felt the way she claimed she would not have needed to avoid Nene and telling her the truth. The truth would have been no problem, but the thing is it wasn't the truth. Kim wanted to spotlight to herself and KNEW she was being shady. Tha'ts why it took Nene coming to her to find out the info, feel me?  Reason 3: Nene was, once again,being pitted against another black woman who behaved in a slightly less 'loud and dramatic manner". All of these push the race button of - black woman can/should be controlled who manipulative humiliation. 

And then the situation ended where it often does when white and black woman are feuding: violence! Once a white woman claims to be physically violated - its all over. Everything goes out the window and anything a white person does or says afterward is entirely justified by black womens " innate rage, aggression, and violent behavior" - animal like behavior. Because at the end of the day, no matter how liberal and progressive white woman especially claim to be there is always that grasp to their privilege - their whiteness will always prevail. And there will always be the claim of being "afraid, uncomfortable, and (my personal favorite) unsafe" when confronted on alligations of shadiness, manipulation, and racism.

So once Kim declared Nene had choked her, simple little Kandi automatically believed her. And of course that makes your actions completely null and void because another black person is helping you condemn cultural behaviors and personal reactions. The fact of the matter is NO ONE strangles someone twice without perfectly good reason. So what is it Kim, WHY would someone want to choke you? What the fuck did you do? Thats a pretty serious response for you to have done nothing. What you did was irritate and push the buttons of the same person for over a year, you told lies about this person, divided them from other black people in their community, condemned them, and slandered their name. Then when confronted by this person you run away and never answer for your offenses. Then you lie to them about doing a project together, that was pretty much 99% Nene's idea. You talk more shit - she confronts you, YOU slap her hand away and wonder why you got choked? Are you kidding me? I'd choke you! You're playing too many games - well once particular game that i am REALLY sick of: it's called ' poor defenseless white woman' - im over it!

so the moral here is dont be tardy for the party....picnic...lynching?

Even Steve Miner knows theres a race war

Steve Miner, director of the third enstallment to the ' Friday the 13th' series, exposes in a 10 minute scene the arising racial tentions of the 80's. In the scene Donna and Shelly are headed to the store in town - away from crytal lake where they are spending the weekend with friends. ( for thoes who have never seen friday the 13th - camp crystal lake is the original site of Jasons mothers revenge. it remains the location throught at least  9 out of the 12 films in the franchise).

Donna is a young latina woman - noted specifically by her mother and her arguing in spanish earlier in the film. As viewers you're supposed to take away the point that she is latina, but not latina enought to look anything other than white. And this is not to say that people cannot be all shades, but its a trite convinient that even in a world of 'shades' we're often forced to look at white skin. Moving on - - So shelly is young white male, who is also specifically important because he is the only character of size in the film. This means that his character is sexless, child like, simple, and ultimately always seperated from the group by virture of being too fat to enjoy the basic things in life skinny people take for granted. Like swimming - Shelly is quoted saying "...they said they're going skinny dipping, and im not skinny enough," when another character inquires why is not with the rest of the group.

Shelly and Donna end up in a small town general store. Just as Donna is trying to buy food at the counter the clerk abruptly utters "..and we don't except no food stamps!" Racialized moment #2 in the film next to the argument in Spanish. Donna turns to ask Shelly for money - he throws the wallet and instead of Donna catching it the wallet falls short of reach and ends up on the floor. Just as the shot of Donnas piercingly white hand goes to pick up the wallet a black boot stomps into the screen. Donna looks up to see a black biker chick! Now i have to say that my face looked exactly like Donnas in this scene. It was something like a " riiiiiight, 'cause black bikers are in an abundance in northern America" face. And by northern American i mean Maine/Vermont area. So the black biker girl makes Donna plead for the wallet, while the two men with her (one black and one white) hold Shelly back from intervening. Finally, after 'asking nicely' the two friends pay and are released. They walk out to the car and of course Shelly accidentally backs in the car into the the motorcycles as the black male of the biker gang watches. The black male then breaks in the front and side window on the car - Shelly speeds off.

Now this is where i got that feeling, you know that sick feeling when something just seems wrong? Well instead of speeding away as an effect of being so 'terrorized' Shellys takes advantage of his privilege in that situation (..being in a car) and tries to run the black male down. The odd thing was, as he was doing it he said "he went too far this time" - as if he had known him for yrs. As if he had suffered multiple offenses from this person. As if he had been abused by this man one too many times and this was just the last straw and so of course RUNNING him over with a car is justifyable. 

How could this random black man who Shelly had never seen before in his life 'go too far'? It's called misplaced rage. Shellys white male/female friends make fun of him, leave him out of things, degrade him, tell him he isn't wanted, manipulate and control him throughout the film and yet his only surge of aggression that EVER manifests is on a random black guy he's never met before. Too afriad to go against your own race Shelly? Or rather too afraid to give up the privileges that come with be socially as well as physically white? Because one component of social whiteness is complete and utter avoidence of conflict, no?  And so in typical wp fashion he put his aggressions in the one place he knew there would be no legal , emotional, physical, economical, social, or moral repercussions to his actions. Not to mention in the end it was a white man and a latina woman running over a black man. If that doesn't clear up the fact that skin is key and that the closer you look to white the more likely you are to band together in a fight against the darkies - then i don't know what does.

People have very little respect for horror films but atleast they can say and deal with what most film directors bury under a foolish storyline, an emaciated (empowered) white girl, and an emotionally crippled white man who secretly has a heart of gold. in short, what has a romantic comedy done lately in the fight against racism, sexism, and homophobia? oh i know, completely rienforce all thoes ideologies. So maybe horror movies display violence, over sexualization, degredation, and sadism - but atleast they don't lie. Ya know, and tell woman they're safe. We have policies, laws, and police. Nothings gonna happen to you - like i said, atleast they don't lie.

Hannaford - racism style.

So i walked into Hannafords in portsmoth NH the other night. As i walk in i feel the usual stares of "oh gosh, where did that come from?" and " dear lord she's burned!" but i ignore them and head straight for the wine asile - ya. I grab my favorite wine, a crisp sav blanc. Then i go to look for red bull, at mirs respectful request. I can't seem to find it so i stop at the 14 items or less lane and politely ask the white woman standing there "Excuse me miss, where can i locate the red bull?" and i mean i said that word for word. That is how i was brought up to speak to people. Respectfully! She stares at me for about 30 seconds and then calls over a boy who looks like a mix between latino and white to "deal" with me. He tells me they're over by the ice cream - i excuse myself, say thank you to both of them and walk off. On my way back from getting the red bull - i spot the egg nog. Now , i am a nog fiend so i grabbed it and ran to the checkout with a smile. I ended up going back to the woman who has "helped" me before - i thought it was only respectful to continue the customer/worker dynamic i had began with her. As i am checking out the younger clerks at registers around us were talking about skipping classes. The woman looks up at me, smirks, and says " you look like you skip class all the time, don't ya?"

I gave her no response. Then before i left i said to her "negroes take their education seriously since we were only allouted it like 60 yrs ago!" - and hey, maybe i was off on the length of time, but my point was clear.

do you see this america? I can't even shop for food without racism finding me.