We sit

We sit facing
With nothing to say.
Your eyes burn holes in
Me. I think of eyes.
Your stares are embers.
They burn in the fire.
But when they look at
Me, they die a bit.
We sit staring,
Wondering what the
Other is thinking.
In between us the
Table dips.
Making us pillars
That are blue with envy.
We sit talking,
But not with a voice.
You talk by licking
You lips.
I talk by stroking
My ear lobes. You ask
Is it important
To me? I scream yes!
You
and I are so tense.
We know not any
Of each others
Moves.
We sit moving.
I twiddle my thumbs
Why are we sitting
When we want to dance?
You speak so often.
We always want to
Touch. You stop talking
And look up. Why should
I believe you when
You reach for me?
You always ignore
Me. You start to move.
Your hand raised and long.
Your finger tips flame
At the sight of me.
Just before you reach me.
Before your flame burns
The slow curve of my
Lips I pull away.
We sit facing
With nothing to say.

Well, im a bigger box office drag

Why, WHY (i ask you) do people feel its needed to talk during a movie in the theater?!?!?!? Last night i saw Friday the 13Th with some friends - it was awful as expected but i see everything because it will only broaden my horizons. I want to have as much movie knowledge as possible - i know i have the ability to make change, to grow, and to dazzle people with my skills. Its not just that i like movies (like so many who write pretentious movie titles all over everything and think they like ‘film’) but rather that i breathe them. I watch at least 5-7 movies a day and if anything gets in my way, like school, i say fuck it. I’ve been paying the university for four years so they could learn from me and all of the magnificent, brave, and honest people i now am close with. Anyway - the movie was awful overall, however did have some bright spots that id like to share. For one thing - as predicted - the film saw the triumph of WOMEN! Whitney, who i was lead to believe as a minor character- turned out to be the center of the story. Not only did she end up being the center but secured her place in ‘final girl’ history. ‘Final Girl’ theory explores the last surviving female in feature horror films. Famous final girls include: Sydney Prescott(Scream), Nancy (Nightmare on elm st), Sally (Texas Chainsaw Massacre), Lorie Strode (Halloween), and Alice (Friday the 13Th- original). These women not only fight for their survival throughout the film by outsmarting the killer (who is the symbol of patriarchy incarnate), they also avenge the deaths of the other many female victims by metaphorical castration! It’s brilliant. I know that many people would write horror movies off as pornography, disgusting, and pro-violence against women and while i agree with these thoughts i believe that anyone who does not give something a chance and at least try to learn is an ass hole who doesn’t deserve to be listened to. I’ve always had a knack for deconstructing horror films and making very intelligent observations -

I learned to love eating apples with lex behind the dsc room. That will always be one of my greatest memories of her. I miss her dearly. We keep in touch regularly tho - so shes never far from my thoughts. I got up early this morning - made muffins for james, vanessa, john, and miranda. It felt good to do something so simple. I’ve let cooking/baking become a HUGE outlet for me. Since starting to cook just about twice a day, every day - i feel beautiful, more centered. It’s very nice. I also got a beautiful new 9 cube shelf - cheap!Good things about today:Steak DianeTaking LOTS of pictures& Dallas season 4 :)