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Sunday, August 30, 2009

dear sweet funny urning brenda.

she gave up her woman down at the alter
and if she were "someone" i think you'd cry for her
and tracey was asking if we were her brothers
but we all said no.

tracey swore she'd take me to bed
but i buckled my belt where she combed the edge
she spoke of the church bells like they were the sin
calling the boys to get their appetites in.

and it pains me to figure i was never safe
being backhanded, a lasso around my waist
she strung me up and showed me around
so everyone would know she was 'down'.

and if she were my alice, i'd cut off her head.
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1 comment:

  1. MirandaSeptember 8, 2009 at 11:24 AM

    I love the middle stanza: "tracey sword she'd take me to bed/ but I buckled my belt where she combed the edge/ she spoke of the church bells like they were the sin/ calling the boys to get their appetites in."

    I love the alliterations "bed...buckled..belt...bells...boys"
    I like the double meaning of "but I buckled" which suggests not only the literal meaning of buckling the belt, but it suggests that the speaker "buckles" or gives in.

    The talk of religion and sex: church bells, sins, boys and their appetites, is very Tori-esque and I of course appreciate the rhymes in this stanza and through out.

    I love the last line and the Alice In Wonderland allusion and I bet you could make it a rhyming couplet if you added another line :^D

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