Today I'm feeling something bigger than myself. I wonder if i do too much - or come off too strong. I feel restless today. The sky is half open from where i can see and the sun is beating down. I seriously don't like to be hot; so that's making me slightly irritable. I want to believe i am starting a new chapter in my life. That i am on my way to feeling more instead of less. However, what happened today was a little embarrassing. When things like that happen you (or rather I) question my worth.
But why? It's just a little embarrassing moment that i will surely not remember when i am further a long in my life. It's no big deal. Everything goes slow, and thank goodness. Slow is better, slow is timeless, slow is meaningful. But sometimes i get so excited i just want to dive in! I can be so absolute, i can just charge right in without thinking. But I...I need to start thinking or i will end up where i have been my whole life.
Today is my bestfriends birthday - she is in chile and i sent her a care package. It's got some really good gifts inside. I made it a specific point to place a box with in a box. I love that kind of surprise - - it's like it happens twice. Well Happy birthday to my lex! i love you! muah.
I picked up a base guitar the other day and remembered why i used to always want to be a singer. a songwriter. I've still got that drive. ....the list goes on and on of what i've been up to.
keep well, and keep reading.
