When i woke up this morning i thought i saw the sky falling down. i was happy, thought the world was finally ending. I do wish the end would hurry, there is too much pain in this world.
I've thought long and hard about myself these last few weeks.What do i offer people around me? Am i capable of love and compassion? truely?
Do i deserve friends? because im starting to think thats what this is all about. Maybe i cant. maybe im no good at it. I'm stuck with the past, the past that deems me 'untrustworthy'. And i agree with them. I want to get out of my body, mind, and soul. They're all rotten. I don't know what anyone sees in me, but i see nothing in myself.
I feel like Micheal Myers, except my homicidal rage is latent. But i am bad like that, you know, when your core is rotten.
i want to cut it out of me. this things that makes me disposable. i want to cut out all the parts that people can sense, and that i can sense. Apologies aren't enough, i owe the world more, like blood.
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