Obviously i could NOT resist writing about The Real Housewives of ATL! I'm a BIG fan, for many reasons, and one of those reasons is because i can see both the good and bad in it, i learn from it, and am repulsed by it, but all in all i am alive when i come into contact with it.
What i want to talk about is the electrified and , eventually, doomed friendship between Kim and Nene. Kim, the big (fake) breasted blond with hollowed dreams of being a country singer now magically transferred to being a one hit wonder electro-r&b star. And Nene the feisty mammie Georgia peach with a large personality and at times no clue when to stop. Together these two urned up the heat by going from close friends to deeeep enemies. When and where did this stress begin? Well, its okay if you don't know because i am definitely about to tell you.
When Sheree 'accidentally' forgot to put Nene on the list for her party, the stage was already being set for tragedy. Now Nene was obviously embarrassed. After all, how would you feel if someone you used to be friends with and were then feuding with personally called you up to invite you to their huge birthday party, this is the first time you're seeing them since the fight, and after you put your trust in the situation find yourself standing out front being told your name is not even on the list? after a personal phone call? Um, i'd be heated! And you know you would too. And for the record, at the time Kim was going along with the 'drama' that she claims to be so above. She was the main one saying to the cameras that Sheree was shady, and even ( in extra footage) ignored her phone calls after the incident to let her know she was angry. Ya kim, that was you!
Anyway, So it must have come as a surprise, shock, and stab in the back to Nene when Kim began hanging out with Sheree. And i think THIS is where people have Nene twisted. She wasn't being possessive of Kim like Kim tried to make it seem. She, Nene, was simply baffled that someone who claimed to be her bff would not only hang out with a woman who publically humiliated her, but says she is her twin and suddenly puts Sheree's and her superficial connection before yrs of close friendship. I would have to say if my best friend did that i would have more than a few suspicions about his/her loyalty - and thus feel betrayed. I gotta agree with Nene when she said "once i feel betrayed, i just go off,' and the moral here is that people should know better, so of course she immediately went into white hot rage, mmmm, i wish there was another way to describe that but of course whiteness is always everywhere.
We also have to take into account the fact that Nene's bff Kim started to become friends with Nene's enemy. Can you imagine Nene's paranoia and feelings of conspiracy. And was she wrong? At some point she was disliked by everyone but Lisa. So her paranoia wasn't in her head, if you see what i am saying. If your friends turn to your enemies and make nice, no matter how moral or mature people believe they are, they aren't. It hurts, and some people act immediately. One reason Nene acted immediately is because in her culture conflict and confrontation is no big deal. But when Kim began to give Nene the cold shoulder and declared that she was too much drama - subconsciously the racist wheels must have began turning. Nene must have thought herself "awesommmme, so now im being punished for being everything white people LOVeEfor black people to be. I'm being looked over for a more conservative black person who isn't loud and drama, aka full of life!" riiiight Kim, right. Now Kim says Nene is too much drama but until Kandi, Kim was the one constantly on the offense like Nene is. And you know what is doesn't surprise me. What Kim did was the classic divide and conquer.
Kim - Oh kandi! you're such a good black. You're calm, and agreeable! i love you my well trained slave! get what i'm saying here?
Well once Kim was able to get yet ANOTHER black woman to condemn the behavior of one of their own she knew she had won. She had successfully driven the wedge between two black upper class woman. black upper class woman? They're in such a small community, so why would you deliberately contribute to them taring each other down? oh i know, black people aren't people, but pawns in the white persons chess game. use as needed, i guess.
So under all this pressure Nene gets DRUNK, i repeat DRUNK and sings a song that makes fun of kKm and her singing career. Lisa must have told Sheree, who then told Kim in the car when first listening to tight rope. Um side bar, Sheree, why did you lie in the camera and say that Kim had a "beautiful voice," and "you never knew," when clearly she cannot carry a tune? Nene, from the beginning, said that Kim couldn't sing and although that may have been, as Sheree puts it, "not supporting Kims music career," - it was not lying to her face and supporting her delusion. Nene may have been harsh, but at least she told the truth. Kim is looking for agreeable black people, who are trained enough to not question anything or ruffle feathers. Kandi plays this role perfectly - its called a Sambo! Honestly, Kandi is constantly smiling like a fucking idiotic fool! However, our existence as black people should NOT be to constantly negotiate these stereotypes but that's the reality, guess who never navigates stereotypes beyond a harmless "yall can't dance"? I'll give you one guess...
So Kim called off her and Nene's friendship based on a song. And don't get me wrong, if i were Kim i'd be hurt. But if i were Kim i'd also be asking myself "hmmm, think maybe Nene was upset when i was i'm a black woman inside although i do not face any of the hardships and atrocities faced by black woman everyday?" - and that, of course, is why im not white. I ask the hard questions, because i experience the hard moments. ya know?
So back when Nene and Kim were friends they listened to "tardy for the party" and Nene suggested that it be changed and Kim suggested they do it together. Or was it Kims unusually large friend Cori? And i say that because NO woman who puts that much into her appearance has a average looking friend like Cori unless they want someone around to constantly make themselves feel better. I would know, i've been a fat friend type my whole life. Pretty girls don't want you unless it's to remind themselves how they AREN'T us. Mmmhmm. So when Kim abruptly dropped to Nene that she didn't want her on the song Nene was heated! Reason 1: Kim backing out at the last minute is strikingly similar to Sheree backing out. Both incidents resulting in the PUBLIC humiliation of a black woman! it's called trauma...people.. Reason 2: Kim had MULTIPLE chances to explain this to Nene prior to when she told her. It took Nene tracking her down to ask about the song AFTER Kim had pretty much recorded it! Now that's just shady and inconsiderate. Again, this illuminates the fear in white culture of conflict. Because the bottom line is if Kim really had that experience and truly felt the way she claimed she would not have needed to avoid Nene and telling her the truth. The truth would have been no problem, but the thing is it wasn't the truth. Kim wanted to spotlight to herself and KNEW she was being shady. Tha'ts why it took Nene coming to her to find out the info, feel me? Reason 3: Nene was, once again,being pitted against another black woman who behaved in a slightly less 'loud and dramatic manner". All of these push the race button of - black woman can/should be controlled who manipulative humiliation.
And then the situation ended where it often does when white and black woman are feuding: violence! Once a white woman claims to be physically violated - its all over. Everything goes out the window and anything a white person does or says afterward is entirely justified by black womens " innate rage, aggression, and violent behavior" - animal like behavior. Because at the end of the day, no matter how liberal and progressive white woman especially claim to be there is always that grasp to their privilege - their whiteness will always prevail. And there will always be the claim of being "afraid, uncomfortable, and (my personal favorite) unsafe" when confronted on alligations of shadiness, manipulation, and racism.
So once Kim declared Nene had choked her, simple little Kandi automatically believed her. And of course that makes your actions completely null and void because another black person is helping you condemn cultural behaviors and personal reactions. The fact of the matter is NO ONE strangles someone twice without perfectly good reason. So what is it Kim, WHY would someone want to choke you? What the fuck did you do? Thats a pretty serious response for you to have done nothing. What you did was irritate and push the buttons of the same person for over a year, you told lies about this person, divided them from other black people in their community, condemned them, and slandered their name. Then when confronted by this person you run away and never answer for your offenses. Then you lie to them about doing a project together, that was pretty much 99% Nene's idea. You talk more shit - she confronts you, YOU slap her hand away and wonder why you got choked? Are you kidding me? I'd choke you! You're playing too many games - well once particular game that i am REALLY sick of: it's called ' poor defenseless white woman' - im over it!
so the moral here is dont be tardy for the party....picnic...lynching?
